


jinx

by flojo



Category: Hoodie Allen (Musician), MAX (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Suicide mentions, fluff?, max is sad, sad but happy ending, they're dating in this i swear, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:41:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6855082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flojo/pseuds/flojo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you could tell that i was a mess, but i don't wanna jinx it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	jinx

steven: hey how r u

max: fine

steven: r u sure

max: yes.

steven: idk

max: just leave me alone okay

\--

Steven wasn’t going to leave Max alone. He pulled into an empty parking lot, looking at the boy who was curled up in the passenger seat, staring out the window and wiping tears off his cheeks with Steven’s hoodie sleeves. He knew Max better than he knew himself and Max never wanted to be left alone. People would be annoyed by that but he enjoyed having Max around constantly. 

“Tell me what happened, baby boy.” Steven said softly, seeing new tears form in Max’s eyes. It was going to take awhile to get anything out of him, but Steven was willing to wait. He would always wait for Max. 

They sat there in silence, besides Max’s small whimpers from trying to stop crying. Steven knew better than to mention it or ask if he was okay, like most people would. So instead, he brought up why they were here in the first place.

“You don’t want to be alive, do you?” 

Max froze, then buried his face in his folded arms to try to hide his hiccups and whimpering. He didn’t even have to answer the question, Steven knew the answer from all the other times he’s picked Max up and drove him here. Max didn’t like living and sometimes tried to get out of it but Steven wasn’t going to let him go that easily. 

“I know you don’t. Honestly, I don’t either,” Steven paused to see Max glance at him, still hugging himself. “But you make it worth it. I know I don’t tell you that, at all, but you do. I don’t have a lot of people in my life, but you’re the only one that gives me a reason to stay alive.”

They stared at each other for awhile, Max trying to steady his breathing and Steven just appreciating that he picked Max up in time. He wouldn’t know what to do if he didn’t. There was one time where he almost didn’t, but Max backed out of it just in time. Steven was still proud of him for not going through with it that day. 

“I wasn’t going to make it.” Max whispered, just loud enough for Steven to hear. He held his breath, shutting his eyes and turning away from Max, trying not to think about Max being dead. He’s not dead. He never will be.

“I know I should’ve just waited for you, but… I don’t know. Something was telling me you would just leave me alone and I’d actually have a chance to succeed.” Max explained, biting his lip to keep from crying again. 

Steven opened his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m never going to leave you alone. I love you too much.” 

And it was the truth. Max was the only important person in Steven’s life and it never mattered that Max needed affection. Steven would give him all the affection in the world and mean every word. He wanted Max to fight through life and he would be there every step of the way and help him if ever broke down. He loved Max that much. 

“I know it’s not easy for you, y’know, the whole living thing. I’ve been with you for so long that I’m understanding it, you have lots of reasons for not wanting to. but I’m not going to let you go,” Steven grabbed Max’s hand gently, intertwining their fingers, “even if you’re at your closest breaking point and nothing is going right, I’m gonna be here for you.”

Max stared at Steven, not even attempting to stop the fresh tears from falling down his cheeks. No one had done so much for him and love him like Steven does. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his cheeks were tinted red, and his lips were swollen, but Steven thought he looked amazing. He always did. 

Steven smiled softly before continuing, “I believe in you. You don’t have to go through your whole life thinking you have to leave. You can get through it. You’re very strong, you know that?” 

Max blushed, a small smile forming on his face. “Thank you, Steven.” 

“Of course. Do you feel any better? Do you want me to take you back home?” Steven questioned, reaching towards his keys to turn the car back on. Max shook his head quickly, squeezing Steven’s hand. 

“Can I stay with you tonight?” Max looked embarrassed for asking, but there was a hopeful spark in his eyes that Steven couldn’t turn down. Not like he would ever turn down Max anyway, because he wanted to spend the rest of life with Max and never let him out of his sight. 

So they spent the rest of the night together, holding each other close as if they would lose each other. Max felt extremely better than he did before and completely forgot about ever wanting to die. He loved that Steven was able to make him forget about the dark part of his thoughts so easily. Steven loved that Max was slowly forgetting about every bad thing he used to think about on a daily basis.

He would say it out loud, but he didn’t want to jinx it.


End file.
